I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
God, I missed his penis.
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