You're my little dorito
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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