you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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