In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
