My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
