Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
17 year olds will be the death of me.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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