It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
