I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
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