**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
