Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize