They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
