last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
