sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
i think im in europe. pls send help
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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