After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
My hand turned me down
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
