yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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