She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
