I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
