dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
