i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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