If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize