If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
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