I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
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