if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize
