even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Randomize
