Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Randomize
