Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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