I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
