tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
