how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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