peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize