at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
