I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Randomize
