she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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