now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I think my moral compass just broke
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