I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
