hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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