just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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