Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
