why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
so let's talk penis.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Randomize
