I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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