my room smells like sperm. sweet.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
