Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
