Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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