she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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