I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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