I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
