i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize