a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize