Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
