i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Randomize
