She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize