I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize