I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
