so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
