It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Randomize
