Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Drake has all the answers
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
