Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
So vagazzling was a success
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
