this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
