He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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