After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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