I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
