tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I know her cup size but not her name....
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
